Gay sex club in supermarket basement arouses imagination of genteel Brooklyn neighborhood

Even in these times of runaway inflation, one grocery store guarantees bang for your butt — sorry! — buck.

While the cheese-counter revolutionaries at the infamously insane Park Slope Food Coop usually provide the scandal south of Flatbush Avenue when it comes to food retail, Page Six has learned that the tony Brooklyn neighborhood is aflame with gossip that there’s a gay sex club in the basement of a local outpost of a well-known supermarket chain. Clean up on Aisle 9, indeed.

(We’re not going to say which supermarket chain it is because nobody likes a sex club pooper. Plus, there’s nothing to suggest that the operators of the sex club are related in any way to the operators of the supermarket and the boys’ bash doesn’t happen while the store is open for business).

Sources in the Slope — the domain of Bill de Blasio, the late Paul Auster, and ’hood heroes Foxy Brown, Steve Buscemi and John Turturro — say the regular event is known as Pickle’s Playhouse and is run, naturally, by none other than Pickle himself.

It seems the gang has been double-bagging there for at least nine months.

Said one local, “We walked past at [midnight] once and the grates were open . . . It was the dead of summer and it must have been sweltering.” Another time it was clearly a Playhouse party “because a bunch of men in leather were going down there.”

We’re told its not uncommon to spot a guy at the entrance checking IDs. (Or perhaps they’re coupons! Grab two buns and get a six-pack for free!)

A veteran of the sausage section, which bills itself online as “the largest private play party in the U.S. for SUPER HOT young guys,” tells us that, instead of grabbing a cart with a wobbly wheel on the way in, guests at Pickle’s place check their clothes at the door (except their shoes, which everyone is required to keep on their feet at all times, apparently).

“They wrote my ticket number on my shoulder with a Sharpie,” one SUPER HOT young guy told us, adding that there’s a bar that serves only vodka and mixers and “a table of snacks.” “Granola bars, apples and bananas, potato chips, etc,” he said.

Meanwhile, there’s “mattresses wrapped in power-washable nylon in the back, slings, benches, a few semi-private/semi-public rooms,” he told us.

He said that there are fellows who appear to be professionals who “mostly have sex with each other [i.e. with the other fellows who appear to be professionals] for a minute at a time, no climax… to set the scene for ‘normals’ to engage in their most basic sexual fantasies.”

He added, “When the ‘normals’ have sex, they imitate what they’ve seen on their computers when they’re home alone… exaggerated groans and overdramatic [play-by-play commentary and encouraging anatomical observations].”

There’s also a “social area” by the bar, we’re told, that is “largely sex-free [except] for the guys who really wanted to have sex in front of other people.”

Pickle could not be reached for comment.