TV
Jennette McCurdy describes ‘addictive’ relationship with much-older man as a teen
Jennette McCurdy bared all on her “addictive” romance with a much-older man as a teen in a frank new interview.
The former Nickelodeon star told “Call Her Daddy” podcast listeners Wednesday that she was 17 or 18 when she became involved with a man in his mid-30s, whom she met on the “iCarly” set.
The now-33-year-old, who wrote about the “creepy” relationship in her “I’m Glad My Mom Died” memoir in 2022, did not divulge the individual’s identity — but did break down how he wooed her.
McCurdy recalled her colleague “hanging out [with her] in the writers’ room after work.”
She said, “He would show me movies he thought I would like, like ‘Dazed and Confused,’ which I did not like but pretended to like. He would play me music I did not like but pretended to like.”
The “Sam & Cat” alum, who now feels like “an idiot” over the age-gap romance, noted that the guy had a girlfriend he lived with at the time.
“[I got] these half-hour pockets [of his time], and I had to be at his every beck and call. When he calls, I go. … It was just exhausting,” she explained, adding that the “twisted” man only considered ending things with his partner when McCurdy stated she “couldn’t do it anymore.”
During this limbo stage, the man requested oral sex while “completely drunk.”
McCurdy remembered, “I didn’t know what that was. … I was like, ‘That sounds kind of weird. I’m nervous to do this,’ and he was like, ‘I’ll guide you through it.’ He does.
“Something squirts in my mouth and I’m like, ‘What was that? Did he pee in my mouth? What the f–k just happened?’” she continued of the “uncomfortable” and “difficult” encounter. “He explained and that was sort of my entry point into a real sexual activity.”
The former child star, describing herself as “Mormon and homeschooled,” said she’d had every intention of not having “sex before marriage” as she did not feel “mature” or “ready” enough.
While the couple had a “very high school” dynamic of “dry humping … and making out a lot” in the months before the blow job, the hookups progressed due to a “nuanced power dynamic.”
She recalled, “There were phrases like, ‘I’m a mid-30s man and this is something I need. I’m respectful of your boundary that you can’t have sex before marriage, but I also have needs of my own.’
“I eventually did have sex with him,” the actress continued. “I disregarded my self-imposed rule.”
McCurdy labeled their intimacy “addictive,” saying, “That’s the thing that I’m chasing. My nervous system is hijacked, waiting for [it]. After, there’s the crash. Then it ramps up again in anticipation for the next. Once that tapered off is really when the relationship tapered off.”
The connection ended when her mom, Debra McCurdy, died in 2013 — although the duo did reconcile “for a second” afterward.
Jennette looked back on the experience while writing her “Half His Age” novel, out Jan. 13.
“Writing is my way to closure for past experiences,” she said. “I didn’t realize how angry I still was. I didn’t think of this person ever that I was in a relationship with at all. He wasn’t on my mind. Then I’m writing this book … because I have so much anger, so much left to process.”
Elsewhere in Wednesday’s episode, Jennette spoke about her late mother, whose abuse she detailed in her bombshell memoir.
When asked how she currently feels about Debra, Jennette said, “I’m able to just miss her sometimes, which is something I will take full credit for.”
She acknowledged that while her late parent left her “with a lot of s–t to parse through,” she does not “feel anger toward her anymore.”
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-330-0226.
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