Jennette McCurdy Recalls Dating a Man in His 30s When She Was 18: ‘Red Flags All Around’

Jennette McCurdy is looking back on the “red flags” in her first relationship.

The iCarly alum, 33, appeared on the latest episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast to discuss her new novel Half His Age. The book follows a 17-year-old girl, Waldo, who finds herself romantically involved with her teacher, Mr. Korgy — a story that is inspired by McCurdy’s own relationship with a man more than a decade older when she was still a teen.

“[We met] through work. There’s nowhere to meet anybody else. All I did was work,” she revealed. “I think I was 18 by the time he started working on the show. I think. I’m not sure about that. It’s possible I was younger, but I was most likely 18.”

McCurdy explained that the relationship began with them “hanging out on set,” where they would often stay late for him to show her his favorite movies and music. It wasn’t until he went to the former actress’ apartment “really drunk” one night that things turned physical.

“Red flags all over,” she noted. “I’d been living away from my mom for maybe two months, and I’m like, ‘Great, okay, a relationship. That’ll be great.’ He comes over and he has beer stains on his shirt, and he’s bumbling around. And at this point in my life, I’ve never had a sip of alcohol. So I don’t understand how drunk he [is].”

She continues: “We made out, it’s a lot of dry humping, and it’s that for months. And I tell him, at that point, I was no longer going to church, but I was still kind of tied to my Mormon roots and didn’t want sex before marriage and didn’t feel ready for that. And I certainly was not [ready] in terms of maturity. So he and I just made out a lot and dry humped a lot. Very high school.”

Only newly an adult, McCurdy said that she remembers “thinking that I was mature” and “so smart” dating an older guy. 

“I feel shame in saying this, but I remember that there was this point when he would introduce me to his friends, and he would take me to barbecues and I would meet the friends and their wives,” she recalled. “The guy friends would be like, ‘Hey.’ All smiles, whatever. And the wives would be like, ‘Mhm, hi, nice to meet you. What’s your name? Okay, Jennette. Yeah, great.’ And I thought, ‘Are they being mean to me?’ And now I see, oh no, they f—— hated this guy’s guts because they knew s— then that I didn’t know, and they’re going, ‘What a f—— loser.’ ”

At that point in her life, McCurdy shared that she had never “felt a deep connection” with someone her age, so it made her feel “special” when her then-boyfriend — who was in his 30s and had another girlfriend at the time — expressed interest in her.

“He was like, ‘You’re so mature. I can’t talk to anyone this way. I can’t believe how smart you are,’ ” she said. “Like, are you kidding me? I was such an idiot. I’m so embarrassed.”

Referring to her new novel, the I’m Glad My Mom Died author said, “I think there’s this element that both Mr. Korgy gives to the protagonist Waldo and that the person I was in a relationship gave to me, which is this the that feeling of specialness, that feeling that it was ultimately my choice, that it was ultimately up to me, that ultimately, I was the one in charge.”

“I think if you feel really powerless, you’ll take that bait,” she continued. “You’ll take that, and you’ll go, ‘Okay, I really want that feeling of power even though my gut kind of knows this isn’t that. I’ll take what you’re saying, and I’ll try to run with it, and I’ll try to make it into some semblance of power.’ If you’re that desperate for it, you will take the bait. And I think I did.”

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McCurdy also opened up about how the older man used her being a virgin to get her to stay in the relationship, despite him living with his other girlfriend and McCurdy’s mom dying in the hospital.

“He uses the ‘You can’t meet my needs’ thing a lot,” she shared. “So I go, ‘Okay, I’ll get us a hotel room. I’ll leave the apartment, I’ll tell my mom I’m hanging out with my friend,’ which I did, and she was very suspicious. It didn’t matter that she was dying; she still had a mother’s instinct.”

When they got to the hotel — a Sheraton near Universal Studios Hollywood — McCurdy said that he got drunk and started asking her for oral sex. 

“I don’t know what that is because I was raised Mormon and because I was homeschooled,” she said. “He explains to me what it is, and I’m like, ‘That sounds kind of weird. I’m nervous to do this.’ He’s like, ‘I’ll guide you through it.’ ”

After, she recalled being “confused” because the moment was her “entry point into any real form of sexual activity.” 

“At the time, it was really uncomfortable, and it was difficult to regroup and figure out, ‘What was that exactly?’ ” she noted, adding that she felt pressure to provide what his girlfriend, whom he claimed to have broken up with, had given to him.

“There were phrases like, ‘I have to know that my needs are going to be met. This is something that — I’m a mid-30s man — and this is something that I’m used to, and this is something I have to know.’ It was very, ‘I’m respectful of your boundary that you can’t have sex before marriage, but I also have needs of my own.”

Half His Age will debut Jan. 20, 2026, and is available now for preorder, wherever books are sold.