Kid Cudi Reveals ‘Rock Bottom Moment’ When He Relapsed That Led to Rehab and Sobriety: ‘I Thought I Was Past That’

Kid Cudi is getting candid about hitting “rock bottom.”

During the Wednesday, Aug. 13 episode of Call Her Daddy, the “Pursuit of Happiness” musician and author of the new book Cudi: The Memoir, spoke about his “rock bottom moment” and how he was able to get help by going to rehab.

Cudi, 41, explained the low point occurred led him to rehab from 2015 to 2016. “I relapsed and started using again,” he said.

“It was like the decline getting just darker and darker and darker. And um, suicide was on my mind like all the time. Like I would like daydream about this s—, you know?” he continued.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“When I relapsed and was kind of faced with this reality, like, damn, it’s been six years since I’ve used this s—‘ and I thought I was past that — and I’m obviously not,” said Cudi. “That was f—— me up, you know?”

The rapper noted he felt like he was “going in circles” and wanted to be “off this s—” because he was older. “Like, people don’t want to keep seeing you be a f—up. You got to get your life together, bro. You’re not in your 20s no more. You’re not just out here,” he said. “It was kind of like this reality check I needed and I went and got help.”

Cudi, whose real name is Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi, said he was glad to have gotten help when he did, because “something would have happened for sure.”

He continued, “Ever since then I haven’t been like — yeah, I get down about some things, but then I get over it. Like before s— would hit me for like weeks, something bad happens, I’m like in the house for weeks just like miserable.” He added that “ever since 2016, I’ve been like a thousand times better.”

The rapper mentioned he once told his wife Lola Abecassis Sartore about an incident where he got arrested in 2010. When reading the news article about it, she laughed, and in that moment Cudi “found peace” after thinking it was “a dent in my armor” for so long.

During an appearance on CBS Mornings, Cudi recalled suffering a stroke in 2016 while he was in rehab. “I was watching TV in the rehab center and my vision got crossed. Like when you cross your eyes and how it looks. It was like that, but my eyes weren’t crossed,” he recalled. “And I kept closing my eyes and I would open them up again and they would still be crossed. It was like that for 10 or 15 minutes and I was freaking out because I didn’t know what the f— it was.”

Cudi said that he didn’t notice what happened until the following mornng when his speech and movement were “slow.” After a doctor’s appointment and getting tested, he found out he had a stroke.

“In that moment, I was nervous, I was super scared because, you know, your motor skills are all changed, and I was just hoping to God that I got my s— back,” he said.

“The doctor told me, he was like, ‘You’re 32 years old. You’ll be able to bounce back from this. If this would’ve happened in your 40s, we’d be having a different conversation right now, so you’re lucky,’ ” Cudi remembered.

Cudi: The Memoir, published by Simon & Schuster, is a story of “survival,” “through depression, addiction, isolation, and doubt. In his own words, Scott charts the journey back to himself, offering hard-earned lessons on vulnerability, reinvention, and the courage to keep going.”

The memoir is available for purchase wherever books are sold.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.