Mayci Neeley Speaks About Surviving Domestic Abuse and Sexual Assault: ‘Became Someone That I Don’t Even Recognize’

Macyi Neeley is opening up about her experiences as a survivor of domestic abuse and sexual assault.

On Tuesday, Dec. 30, Mayci posted a TikTok video discussing her personal experience in an allegedly abusive relationship. “First and foremost, trigger warning,” she began.

She shared that for the past few weeks, she’s been tagged in several videos about domestic violence and sexual assault, “because obviously, I have experienced that, and I’m definitely an advocate for it,” before she continued with a message for other survivors.

“When you are a victim, even I know to never compare my situation to another victim, because they’re not the same,” she said. “I think one of the things I want to speak on, too, is about how women go back to their abusers. I can give my experience.”

Addressing questions about why she stayed in the relationship after her “abuser” “shoved her, choked her, and [sexually assaulted] her,” Mayci said, “Because I was being blackmailed.”

“My abuser would threaten to get me kicked out of my university because they had a strict honor codes,” she explained, adding that her former partner threatened to send photos of her drinking alcohol to the university in an attempt to have her expelled.

She also pointed to “Stockholm Syndrome” as another reason she stayed in the relationship.

“The abuser can maybe be holding financials over their head,” said Mayci. “Could be isolating them, periods of good behavior and bad behavior. It’s like this toxic cycle where these small things that happen at the beginning of the relationship, they’re like, maybe a small red flag. Those become your everyday life when you’re in these relationships, and you don’t even notice them after a while.”

“Lack of self-esteem” was another reason Mayci said she felt drawn back to her alleged abuser, adding that often victims “stay because they don’t feel like they have any other option.”

Mayci shared how being in an abusive relationship changed her perspective.

“There’s so much more psychological abuse and so many mental aspects of this that I can’t even put into words that make you feel so crazy when you’re going through it. My entire personality changed. I became an angry person. I became someone that I don’t even recognize. Before I was ever in an abusive relationship, I would look at it and be like, ‘Yeah, get out,’ ” Mayci continued.

“Filming through it while pregnant, and then going through it, doing a reunion postpartum, it hasn’t been super fun, especially because I actually haven’t been able to share my story of DV or SA on the show,” said Mayci, who announced her pregnancy with husband Jacob, in February.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Mayci, who details her experience in her memoir Told You So, ended by telling other survivors, “If you are a victim, this triggering for you, I see you, I hear you, I’m with you, and I love you guys, and thanks for listening.”

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star’s book, Told You So, will be published on Oct. 7 and is now available for preorder.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.