Rebecca Gayheart Addressed Family’s ‘Anticipatory Grief’ 2 Months Before Eric Dane’s Death

As much as Rebecca Gayheart tried to stay positive, the actress was taking steps to make sure her family was prepared for husband Eric Dane’s death.

“I try to stay in the moment, even though there’s no escaping thinking about the future. I worry so much about my girls losing their father — they’re going through this while experiencing all the pressures that are put on young girls, and I want to do everything in my power to give them the tools they’ll need,” Gayheart, 54, wrote in a personal essay for The Cut published in December 2025. “They will be different because of this. I know that. One thing I’ve realized, and this is something I’m working on, is that I spend so much time navigating everyone else’s emotions around this, I haven’t really sat down and investigated how I feel about things.”

Nearly one week after Dane was diagnosed with ALS, the Grey’s Anatomy alum and Gayheart chose to tell their two daughters, Billie, 15, and Georgia, 14.

Gayheart explained that she and her husband “wanted to have complete transparency and honesty with them” as they navigated something unfamiliar together.

“I asked a therapist, ‘What is the best way to do this?’” Gayheart wrote in her essay. “We’ve had a family therapist who we’ve been working with since we separated, but I sought out professional help targeted toward teenage girls because it’s such a formative time in their lives — they’re trying to individuate while they’re having to deal with this really huge loss and anticipatory grief. And she said, ‘The kids will let you know; they’ll stop asking questions when they can’t handle it anymore, when it’s too much information.’”

Gayheart initially took steps in February 2018 to legally end her marriage to Dane. In March 2025, however, she filed to dismiss their divorce proceedings.

“We wanted to give [our children] the opportunity to speak with [Dane’s] doctor, because they had a lot of questions that at that point I couldn’t answer, and I don’t even know if Eric could answer them,” Gayheart continued in her essay. “They’ve talked to her, and they know that she’s available at all times.”

News broke on Thursday, February 19, that Dane had died at the age of 53 following his ALS diagnosis. In a statement obtained by Us Weekly, his family revealed that the actor was “surrounded by dear friends” in his final days.

“Throughout his journey with ALS, Eric became a passionate advocate for awareness and research, determined to make a difference for others facing the same fight,” the statement read. “He will be deeply missed and lovingly remembered always. Eric adored his fans and is forever grateful for the outpouring of love and support he’s received. The family has asked for privacy as they navigate this impossible time.”

Before Dane’s death, Gayheart shared a valuable lesson she learned about life and not taking a moment for granted.

“I say this a lot: This is not the dress rehearsal. Whatever you’re doing today, that is your life,” she wrote. “Eric getting the ALS diagnosis has brought that to the forefront of my mind. So live for today. Wear the shoes, wear the nice bag, don’t keep it in the dust bag. Put the nice sheets on your bed, like, what are we waiting for?”