Cara Delevingne talks Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, addiction on ‘Call Her Daddy’

Cara Delevingne’s Victoria’s Secret days weren’t all smiles and angel wings.

The British supermodel and musician, 33, opened up about walking the brand’s runway more than a decade ago on Wednesday’s episode of “Call Her Daddy,” telling host Alex Cooper that those runway moments coincided with some of the darkest years of her life.

Delevingne, 33, has been candid in recent years about her struggles with addiction and mental health, including a very public low point in 2022 that led to her getting sober.

When Cooper pulled up a photo of Delevingne in a candy striper-style outfit from the 2012 Victoria’s Secret show, the model’s reaction was bittersweet. “That was fun; it felt like dress-up,” she said. “But then there was something darker about it.”

At the time, Delevingne was closeted, battling depression and using alcohol and drugs to cope. “I woke up, probably had a couple shots of whiskey and a Xanax,” she said. “You wouldn’t get nervous to walk a runway after that.”

Hiding her sexuality in that backstage environment — surrounded by some of the world’s most beautiful women in various states of undress — also put her in a constant state of “gay panic,” she said.

“I was in the closet. I was gay. I was also like… has a lesbian ever done f–king Victoria’s Secret?” she told Cooper. “I was having a great time but also like very confused. I felt like I was an undercover lesbian.”

She recalled one moment when fellow model Candice Swanepoel casually undressed in front of her in a hotel room. “She took off her clothes — not in a sexual way, that’s what models do — and I passed out,” Delevingne said with a laugh. “I fully passed out.”

Despite walking for the brand twice, Delevingne said she never felt she fit the mold. “Everyone else [had] very womanly bodies … and I have no ass,” she said. “At that point I was like, ‘I’m not a Victoria’s Secret Angel. I’m a devil.’ I remember when they asked me to be one. I was like, ‘I don’t think I belong here.’”

Delevingne told Cooper she is now nearly four years sober, in a relationship with a woman she went to school with and preparing to release her debut album. In the past, she’s called sobriety “worth every second” and has spoken about leaning on friends like Taylor Swift through her hardest stretches.