Nicole Kidman recalls being ‘beyond lonely’ after Oscar win

Nicole Kidman felt “beyond lonely” the night she won her 2003 Oscar because she didn’t have a partner to celebrate her success with.

“I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely,” The “Practical Magic 2” star — who had split from ex-husband Tom Cruise two years earlier — said on Thursday’s episode of Jake Shane’s “Therapuss” podcast.

She added, “So, yeah, crazy, though, that sort of the confluence of events where you go, ‘I wish…’ I had my mom with me and my dad, but I was like, ‘Where’s my partner, someone that I can share this with?’”

“It was one of the most profound moments where I went, ‘I’ve got to get a life,’ and at the same time, I’m holding this gold statue where you go, ‘This is, this is it. This is the highest sort of prize you can get in our industry.’ And so grateful and yet so lonely.”

“I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now,” she added. “I’d love to be around now, something that feels really, ‘Oh, OK, this is my real life.’ ”

Kidman, who won a 2003 Best Actress Oscar for portraying Virginia Woolf in “The Hours,” and Cruise split in 2001.

She shared similar sentiments about her Oscar win back in 2024.

“I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,” she told author Dave Karger in his book “50 Oscar Nights.” “That’s what happens, right?”

After the win, Kidman said she had no desire to spend the night partying.

“I’m not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, ‘You’ve got to go. You’ve got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award,’” she divulged. “I said, ‘That just feels like gloating, and it doesn’t feel humble.’ Like, what? You can’t walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They’re like, ‘That’s what you do.’ ”

Kidman did attend the party, and it went as well as she gloomily predicted.

“So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it,” she said. “I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”

She and Cruise, who met on the set of “Days of Thunder,” married in 1990. They adopted two children, daughter Isabella, 33, and son Connor, 31.

Kidman later had a secret romance with rocker Lenny Kravitz that included an engagement before they ended it.

She found love again with country singer Keith Urban, whom she married in 2006.

They share daughters, Sunday, 18, and Faith, 15.

The couple split in September 2025 and finalized their divorce four months later.

Urban was rumored to have been involved with fellow country singer Karley Scott Collins and his guitarist Maggie Baugh.

Both women denied being romantically involved with the “Somebody Like You” crooner.

Kidman has been linked to private equity investor Michael Reinstein.